Major Issues.

I have major issues.
Literally.
As in, I have no idea what I want to major in. Well actually, that's a lie, I have an IDEA, but that's pretty much it. I started out as a Theatre major - ha that was smart, jumping into something that I don't know anything about - I just don't think it's right for me.
I want to go to school and learn about something I really believe in, that I think is important and valuable in life and living with others.
I just want to pick something and stick with it.
I've thought about psychology, art, film making, communicablahgii...bllkjdha, kisdholskjhduheljfgl.....
Blah! I don't know.

There are days when I think to myself, "Wow, I really do belong in theatre." But then I get into it and I'm totally set back because I don't believe in it. I don't think theatre is a vital part of who I am or what I want to use in order to channel greatness into the world. I just think it's fun.
Fun.
Simple as that.
It's so appealing because it's fun and there is always a different story and a different character. It's always moving and changing. But it's NOT. It's hard to have fun and be creative the way someone else wants you to be creative. That's stupid.
I haven't found my niche- the art that is totally me.
I want to find that niche so bad.
The thing that I live to do, create, breathe in, exhale out.
The thing that when people look at me, they think, "She is perfect for that."
The thing that when I look at myself, I think, "I am perfect for this."
The thing that is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.
The thing that I work so hard to do because I was made for it.
One thing I know, being creative breeds creativity.
During my senior year of high school I produced more original paintings than I had collectively over my entire lifetime. And it was incredible. I felt amazing because the more I painted the more I wanted to paint. I had the freedom and drive to paint and experiment with different styles and methods.
Anyways, my point is this:
The more I painted the more I wondered about different things I could do.
"Being creative breeds creativity."
I feel like if acting or painting was important enough to me, and I wanted to invest myself in it, I could be really good.
But it's not.
And the possibility of being really good at something isn't a good enough reason for me to spend thousands of dollars to be educated for it.
I really want that passion.
So I've been thinking of some ways to exercise my creative side in the meantime

Project Creative:
1. Short films! I totally forgot that I can check out really nice cameras to make shorts with! So I'll definitely be doing that in the near future.
2. Creative writing. Short stories, poems, maybe I'll even make a blog ;)
3. Photography. Yes, I am going to be like every other girl on the internet who thinks she can be a photographer. Pictures are just so great!
-Unfortunately, I don't have the money to go buy art supplies so this is the end of my creative list so far. I would love to hear your ideas as well!

Update on the house:
My friend popped up on fb the other day and said that the renters took the listing off of craigslist.
YAY!!!
Well, maybe.
That could mean one of two things:
1. They went ahead and rented it to someone else
    or
2. They are planning on us taking the house.
It's crazy because earlier that day, before my friend told me about the listing, I was telling my mom that I think the renters are planning on renting the house to us, and how even though I didn't really have any concrete experience/conversation, that has been my impression. After all, we still have a meeting with them on Wednesday. I would think that if they rented the house to someone else already, they would cancel the meeting.Who knows what could happen, I'm excited though!


Also,
I know some of the best people in the world.
And if you haven't seen this video, my gosh, please watch it. It's incredibly beautiful.