"Today is my last first day of high school."
So to jump on the bandwagon of beginnings and endings, I'd like to say,
"Tomorrow is the first day of my last year as a teenager."
And if I think about it for too long, I start thinking things like,
"There isn't really an 'end' to anything." Which leads to...
"Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another."- Einstein
I think about this statement/law a lot. Mostly when I'm driving.
We don't create or destroy. There isn't really anything "original" or "final." Only change. So while firsts and lasts are wonderful to keep track of, and sometimes hard to let go, maybe they aren't as vital as they feel.
This will be my first time, and my last time, at the SAME TIME, turning 19.
This will not be my first, or my last time, to wake up and brush my teeth though.
Or eat a meal.
Or blink my eyes.
Or thank God.
Or cry.
Or stub my toe.
Or make my bed.
Or not make my bed.
Or (insert verb here).
Verb: it's what you do!
(Anyone remember that from the Disney Channel?)
I choose to not let my world revolve around what happens to me, but what God does through me.
But my whole point is that God created the world and He will end it in His time. Everything between those two points is just change. One form changing to another form.
The good.
The bad.
The crazy.
The mellow.
The rain. (What's that?)
The sunshine.
Everything has it's season, right? In order for a season to be a season it has to have a pattern. That pattern is change.
Change is the only consistency.
(Ha, I sound like I actually know what I'm talking about! :P)
But in that change, through those seasons, God reigns.
He heals.
He astounds.
He provides.
I have nearly a hundred stories from the past 3 months about how God has provided for:
The people I love
The ministries I'm involved in
Me.
Seriously, it's crae.
Two families I love have been blessed with vehicles in different ways, from the same God.
Erik's aunt went from Stage 4 brain cancer to cancer free in the last couple months.
The Christian Campus House is getting over $125,000 worth of renovation for about $30,000.
I have a roof over my head and an income to keep it there, provided by God.
And I have a desire to never stop seeing these provisions.
I like beginnings.
I don't like endings.
I have "goodbye" issues. That's why I've been known to not be too fond of my birthday (and by "not too fond" I mean I cry. I cry all day on my birthday.). I have this, "Life can't get any better from this point, so the only place to go is down," mentality. And it's wrong.
It is SO wrong. Good and bad, better/worse, are relative. They are only perceptions based on personal experiences, and considering there are about 8 billion different people with the ability to perceive on the planet at this moment, we don't have a right or wrong answer. We CAN'T have a right or wrong answer to what is good, bad, ugly, fantastic, depressing, etc.
That is (one of the many reasons) why I need Jesus. Because he is the answer. He is the only one who has this whole "Life" thing figured out, because he IS the way, the truth, and the life. It's all done through Him.
So who am I to not praise Him for the "good"?
Or the "bad"?
Or the blah days?
Or the hectic days?
Or the birthdays?
Who am I to not thank Him for the change, for his guidance, for Him?
It's faith. It's "God, I don't see what you see, so I'm going to dedicate my life you to You because you'll use it right."
And He will. So mean it.
He is only good and that's a good enough reason to trust Him.
Tomorrow is the first day of my last year as a teenager.
And I'm glad about it not (just) because my dad won't be able to make teenager jokes anymore, but because it's time.
It's time to be glad.
